They say it’ll be easier for me to get a guy in college.. it is! You’ll get to meet tons of guys in college, both good and bad guys you can fall in love with. But actually find “true love”?! I guess that’s one tough challenge you’ll have to face besides passing all your subjects. But why is it having a boyfriend becoming a big deal these days, I mean, people around me keep on asking “bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?”, “siguro ang dami mong manliligaw noh?” or “wala bang pogi sa school??” and stuff like that. To be honest, I have waaay too many crushes in school, they’re everywhere! But I just consider them as my happy crushes who motivates and inspires me to go to school every single day. Hehe! But when people ask me about being in a relationship, I honestly have a lot of things to say but instead of getting weird reactions, I just say “no time for that!!” But real talk, I consider a lot of factors why I’d rather stay single at this very moment..
- I think this is the point in life where I have to learn to be independent. College is about being on your own, and since I’m just starting college, medyo nangangapa pa ko when it comes to responsibilities like catching up on studies, dealing with my schedule and meeting new people. I know my older version will thank me for this. Minsan kasi I find it annoying when I have someone with me all the time, literally. Para kasing my attention is divided into two whenever I’m with someone all the time, sometimes I’d rather be on my own than with someone kasi it really teaches me to be responsible and independent.
- I am not yet financially ready. Hahaha! Kung sa sarili ko nga, I’m already having a hard time balancing my allowance, sa boyfriend ko pa kaya? I mean, diba, let’s all be honest here. It would be boring if you don’t go out on dates to be adventurous somehow, I’m the type of girl kasi who spends a little for gifts and surprises hehe cheesy ba? Although I try to make my “own” gifts naman. And I’m not the type of girl who depends on material things too much, effort and time is already enough for me. But aghk, bottom line, being in a relationship also requires having moolah you feel me??
- I am not physically ready. This may sound corny and weird, but I’m currently revamping my whole self not just emotionally but also in physical aspects. Kumbaga, Camille is under construction. For me kasi, I still have a lot of things to fix and yep I’m literally talking about my looks. I want my future boyfriend to be proud of me. Come on, most people judge on how a girl or a guy looks, and they would say “masyadong pogi si ano para kay ano!” And it honestly hurts hearing those kind of opinions. I’m still working on myself hahaha
- I am not emotionally ready hehe real talk!! I just think I still have a lot to fix when it comes to emotional aspect. I’m insecure about a lot of things, I wanted to be in a relationship when I finally accepted me a hundred percent. ‘Cause what’s the point of loving someone if you haven’t accepted and loved yourself for who and what you are?
- From the past relationships I had, I did learn a lot.. but it also made me realize a lot of things that made me think, “baka nga hindi pa talaga ako ready for serious things like that” like giving everything just to make the relationship work, feeling ko kasi I’m not yet ready to feel the pain again. Yes, let’s face it, being in love’s prolly one of the best feelings in the world, but is getting hurt part of that feeling? Right now, I’m too happy with what I have and to where I am, and I don’t want to ruin all the happiness going on just because of love.
- I’m still scared to risk things. Sure, life’s all about taking risks. But are those risks really worth it? Sometimes people misunderstand love as a perfect thing that saves everyone, when it fact it can also ruin you. Wait, ang lalim nun ah.. hahaha!! What I’m trying to say is, ayoko lang muna mag risk as of now knowing the fact that everything around me’s temporary. Lahat naman temporary eh. But I just want to be sure, I want to be in a relationship with someone I truly know, hindi yung dahil we’re both lonely lang or stuff like that. And it really takes a lot of time.
- I’m not yet ready with the responsibilities I have to face. Kung sa studies and time management nga hirap na hirap na ko, sa commitment pa kaya? Commitment is such a big word, and I can honestly say that I’m not yet ready for that big word. As of now, ayoko lang na may kahati ako sa time. Ang uncomfy ng feeling na I have to update someone from time to time, tapos konting di pagreply lang argument na and shit like that. Ang sarap kaya matulog!! And I want to be active in some cases, ayokong pigilan sarili ko from engaging myself to too much activities just because of someone. Hehe. Kaya much better if my future boyfriend’s supportive to everything I want eh. But bottom line, I still want to be free. I want to hang out with friends and meet new people without someone getting jealous or something close to that. I want to go to places on my own and discover things on my own.
But these things don’t make me against love or relationships ’cause I can’t deny the fact that I do dream about having a boyfriend that every girl wants. I’m no different from other single girls out there. As much as I want to avoid myself with being in love, I just think that’s impossible. Love is love, eh. You can’t say “eew love, stay away from me!” ’cause it’ll hit you in an instant without realizing it. Unless you’re a person with no heart who tries everything to push people away. Feelings is feelings. At the end of the day, you can’t stop love when it’s already there, but you can avoid it. And I don’t know maybe I’m saying these things because the right person hasn’t arrived just yet. Haha!!